The Hardest Things for moi these days..(MK-23)

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You know what the hardest thing these days(Covid era/no frns, schools, again spreading of this stupis virus, new variants evryother month..& what not) is, to stay positive and optimistic about the future 'cause nobody has seen it and we are always in the fear of losing ourselves in someway or another, to stay self- motivated and not give up before the fight..🤞🤞

the fear is not of death but of the future like, what I'm gonna do after studies, who I'm gonna be? will I be able to find myself..my raison d'etre..will I? 

Will I be able to understand my studies sans losing myself in the process? Will I get through this Science thingy sans pressure..? or it'll deteriorate my marks or what not..have I made the right decision...Was I in my senses when I took this or just random suggestions or situations happen, and I took it..? Am I doing this the right way? Do I have to be a book worm all day to score good in exams??I knew I was not a kid who can study all day everyday..then why Science,why??

I don't know!!☹☹


PS: Groom's Baraat going right now at 23:11 pm..I mean are u kidding me?? So much noise pollution...people might be cursing him for destroying their sleeps right now lol😅


I'm scared, I'm angry, I'm sometimes hopeless or any other word which can describe my situation..

I just hope that one day after 10 or 15 yrs or so, I'll have things sort out probably...Do not wanna waste my life on these thoughts but still have them..😌

Might because I skipped my dinner and a little fight with mumma on useless, illogical, non-reasonable thing...she was just telling me to go from the room not sleep here and sleep in mine room, just for the sake of my sleep only so that I don't get up in the middle of the night, irritated, angry and go back to ma chamber 🙄

I'm a STUPID, MORON and all the cursing words in the world..can't control my anger...gets angry every fast even faster than an ink spreads on the cloth 😅, gets offended on small things, totally moody, speaks loudly in house and nothing outside it...shy to talk to strangers...I don't even greet the society aunties/uncles ~ which is a really big thing for them ( my fam & might be these people)~ , dumbo, stupid

I wanna change myself for good, it's not identity loss but it's being a better version of myself but I'm such a...what to say!? but I'll try my best🙂 WISH ME LUCK

~Whatever~

Let's just hope 2022 will be less of pain and more of happiness 🥰🥰

NO MORE VIRUS..ONLY VIRUS OF HUMANITY, POSITIVITY & HAPPINESS ☺☺

Gotta go and grab something for the sake of my hunger...maybe after completing viscosity and surface tension🙃🙃

08-12-2021, Wednesday 

#PACE

#Yougotthisgirl

#Staysafeandhealthy

A Bientôt 

Bises😘😘



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